Mrs. Butterworth
Rest. I've seen God talk to me about this so many times over the past couple of weeks. He has set it upon my heart to get out of the boat and meet him on the waves. For me that plays out like this: I know that God has given me the power to become a "Son" of God. He has placed his spirit inside of me and has sent me out with the same purpose as Jesus. Preach the good news and heal the sick.
It's easy to discuss this from inside the boat. The people are out on the waves. I have to jump out onto the waves, focus on him and approach people. Two things must happen: I need to talk about the Kingdom of Heaven and the pray for healing. Here is the problem: the waves..... They are instantly overwhelming!
My waves are fear. God showed me this picture years ago and it has been my main struggle for my entire life. FEAR! I had a dream that went like this: He showed me 3 lions being led out of stone building. They were being led by a man with something in his hands only you couldn't see it. As I looked closer, I saw that the lions mane's were cinched where an invisible leash was. They pulled against it with all of their strength, but did not seem to have the power to escape. Even closer still, were words that seemed to float in mid air. They were written on the invisible leashes. Each leash had the word FEAR written on it.
You see, it wasn't real. The lions believed the fear. They believed that it was real. They feared it and to them it was what held them back. It was what held back all of the amazing strength and power. A lie! An invisible FEAR.
I sink into the waves immediately when I begin to choose to FEAR instead of trust. Worry takes my eyes off of the Father and I drown.
I know that people reading this blog experience the same thing. There is a supernatural power within you and despite that you can't seem to move. It's a lie. It is all in your mind! It is not true. You are not stuck! You do have the most awesome power in the Heavenlies within you! If God is for you who can be against you.
What is the solution?
Death.
You see we have to surrender ourselves totally to God to let Heaven out. We have to be submitted to the Holy Spirit. We have to Die to ourselves, our ambitions, our desires, our motives, the plans for our lives and become an open vessel for the Kingdom.
It is a great feeling realizing the you can't do anything. Things will be what they are. It is only Christ in you that can accomplish anything. This is what Jesus let me experience today.
I left work for lunch in search of people to pray for. I was headed for Wegmans. On the drive there, I passed the Walgreens and I could hear his still soft voice prompt me to go inside. Trying to be obedient, I went inside. My mind filled with scenarios of how God can reach people through me. I dreamt of a woman that was hurting inside for her sister. I don't know why but I could almost see the pain on this woman. I imagined myself approaching this woman to let her know that God knows her hurt and has heard the cry of her heart. Just as I pulled up to the Walgreens and began to walk in, there was a car parking in the handicapped parking spot and a woman got out. Was this her......
I'll never know. I believed the fear and passed her by. I was a lion with an invisble leash and I cinched it tighter with every step. After not seeing anyone else at Walgreens, I went onto Wegmans. I saw several people there that were hurting or in pain; A woman in a wheelchair, a man with a hearing aid, several people with canes, a woman with an oxygen tank.
I tried to approach someone. But I did not get out of the boat. However, this time I was at peace. I could feel myself taking in the situations around me. I was alert. Maybe this was what I was supposed to learn today. Just observe. I don't know. What I do know is that despite the fear, I was calm.
So instead of approaching someone, I decided to stand at a random spot in the isle and wait for someone to approach me. Then, I would know that God set it up. I said to myself, "If someone comes up right next to me and picks the peanut butter up that I am looking at, that is the person that I'll try to make contact with." A few moments later, here came a woman. Just as I said to myself, she came right down the isle, stopped right next to me, picked up the peanut butter and moved on. And there I was, just watching. I did nothing, but it was peaceful. Weird. My heart normally pounds during these situations.
I decided to continue my meandering around in observation and searching for someone to speak to about Jesus. Just as I turned to walk away, there was a woman walking toward me down the isle. She reminded me of Mrs. Butterworth. Did you ever read, "The Shack?" In that story, God the Father is represented by an overweight African American Woman (Mrs. Butterworth came to my mind when I read it). So here come God, Straight towards me lookin like Mrs. Butterworth. She was wearing a T-shirt with writing on it and as she got closer I could read it. It said, "Prayer, a wonderful suggestion for connection." All I could do was smile. Although I sank beneath the waves, God was there to reach out his hand and pick me up. He wasn't angry at all, in fact he seemed proud. That's my boy. Good work. Way to give it a try. You can see with your spritual eyes. Keep trying. I'll be with you all the time.
I don't know. I feel two things that oppose eachother: victory and defeat. I was connecting with the Lord, but on the other hand I was not connecting with people.
Father, continue to free me from me. I'm going out again. Use me. In the meantime, prayer and the word.
It's easy to discuss this from inside the boat. The people are out on the waves. I have to jump out onto the waves, focus on him and approach people. Two things must happen: I need to talk about the Kingdom of Heaven and the pray for healing. Here is the problem: the waves..... They are instantly overwhelming!
My waves are fear. God showed me this picture years ago and it has been my main struggle for my entire life. FEAR! I had a dream that went like this: He showed me 3 lions being led out of stone building. They were being led by a man with something in his hands only you couldn't see it. As I looked closer, I saw that the lions mane's were cinched where an invisible leash was. They pulled against it with all of their strength, but did not seem to have the power to escape. Even closer still, were words that seemed to float in mid air. They were written on the invisible leashes. Each leash had the word FEAR written on it.
You see, it wasn't real. The lions believed the fear. They believed that it was real. They feared it and to them it was what held them back. It was what held back all of the amazing strength and power. A lie! An invisible FEAR.
I sink into the waves immediately when I begin to choose to FEAR instead of trust. Worry takes my eyes off of the Father and I drown.
I know that people reading this blog experience the same thing. There is a supernatural power within you and despite that you can't seem to move. It's a lie. It is all in your mind! It is not true. You are not stuck! You do have the most awesome power in the Heavenlies within you! If God is for you who can be against you.
What is the solution?
Death.
You see we have to surrender ourselves totally to God to let Heaven out. We have to be submitted to the Holy Spirit. We have to Die to ourselves, our ambitions, our desires, our motives, the plans for our lives and become an open vessel for the Kingdom.
It is a great feeling realizing the you can't do anything. Things will be what they are. It is only Christ in you that can accomplish anything. This is what Jesus let me experience today.
I left work for lunch in search of people to pray for. I was headed for Wegmans. On the drive there, I passed the Walgreens and I could hear his still soft voice prompt me to go inside. Trying to be obedient, I went inside. My mind filled with scenarios of how God can reach people through me. I dreamt of a woman that was hurting inside for her sister. I don't know why but I could almost see the pain on this woman. I imagined myself approaching this woman to let her know that God knows her hurt and has heard the cry of her heart. Just as I pulled up to the Walgreens and began to walk in, there was a car parking in the handicapped parking spot and a woman got out. Was this her......
I'll never know. I believed the fear and passed her by. I was a lion with an invisble leash and I cinched it tighter with every step. After not seeing anyone else at Walgreens, I went onto Wegmans. I saw several people there that were hurting or in pain; A woman in a wheelchair, a man with a hearing aid, several people with canes, a woman with an oxygen tank.
I tried to approach someone. But I did not get out of the boat. However, this time I was at peace. I could feel myself taking in the situations around me. I was alert. Maybe this was what I was supposed to learn today. Just observe. I don't know. What I do know is that despite the fear, I was calm.
So instead of approaching someone, I decided to stand at a random spot in the isle and wait for someone to approach me. Then, I would know that God set it up. I said to myself, "If someone comes up right next to me and picks the peanut butter up that I am looking at, that is the person that I'll try to make contact with." A few moments later, here came a woman. Just as I said to myself, she came right down the isle, stopped right next to me, picked up the peanut butter and moved on. And there I was, just watching. I did nothing, but it was peaceful. Weird. My heart normally pounds during these situations.
I decided to continue my meandering around in observation and searching for someone to speak to about Jesus. Just as I turned to walk away, there was a woman walking toward me down the isle. She reminded me of Mrs. Butterworth. Did you ever read, "The Shack?" In that story, God the Father is represented by an overweight African American Woman (Mrs. Butterworth came to my mind when I read it). So here come God, Straight towards me lookin like Mrs. Butterworth. She was wearing a T-shirt with writing on it and as she got closer I could read it. It said, "Prayer, a wonderful suggestion for connection." All I could do was smile. Although I sank beneath the waves, God was there to reach out his hand and pick me up. He wasn't angry at all, in fact he seemed proud. That's my boy. Good work. Way to give it a try. You can see with your spritual eyes. Keep trying. I'll be with you all the time.
I don't know. I feel two things that oppose eachother: victory and defeat. I was connecting with the Lord, but on the other hand I was not connecting with people.
Father, continue to free me from me. I'm going out again. Use me. In the meantime, prayer and the word.
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